I'm listening to local Vancouver hip-hop band Swollen Members as I type this. I got the insane chance to attend Tedx Vancouver today. There's something about well-formed, articulate, amiable and accessible people that makes me retain some sense of faith in this crumbling world.
At a UBC talk I attended, Teju Cole referenced lyrics from a song by The Game which went, don't do four favours if you can't do the fifth.
***
I realise I am a writer in a world of wonderful social scientists. It is freeing to realise that about yourself so definitively, so giddily, so crystal clear.
***
This is not to make any causal implications, but being forced to live in a whole new country on your own, completely on your own, has changed how I deal with crushing heartbreak and disappointments or any issues. I'm too pressed for time to sit and cry over things or feel bad about them and myself, because most times, it's not the only problem I have.
***
I enjoy the rain.
Certain days, you just wake up on the edge of tears and teeter there the whole day. There is no reason. You just want to cry. Produce something entirely yours in a new world, starting with your loneliness and fears.
Cry for home, cry for comfort, cry to sad hindi songs, the abundance of kadipatta and dhania, but mostly just for not having been hugged in months. With a start, you realise how much of a difference physical contact makes in making you feel engaged with the world.
***
I don't quite know how to place Vancouver in my heart. Vancouver's always made place for me, the minute I entered it. Overwhelmingly, resoundingly, my experience so far has been a kind one. But it often feels like the city has a definite glass ceiling. It's demographic tends to be rich and old(er), so the city doesn't really have an insane nightlife. And things are always going on, it's not like nothing happens here, but there's a ceiling you can reach up and touch. One day I might get sick of it. For now though, this is home.
***
Away from my previous home, and snowballing through the 27 years of existence, I acknowledge fully now that I always carry home inside me.
A tweet I've favourited:
At a UBC talk I attended, Teju Cole referenced lyrics from a song by The Game which went, don't do four favours if you can't do the fifth.
***
I realise I am a writer in a world of wonderful social scientists. It is freeing to realise that about yourself so definitively, so giddily, so crystal clear.
***
This is not to make any causal implications, but being forced to live in a whole new country on your own, completely on your own, has changed how I deal with crushing heartbreak and disappointments or any issues. I'm too pressed for time to sit and cry over things or feel bad about them and myself, because most times, it's not the only problem I have.
***
I enjoy the rain.
Certain days, you just wake up on the edge of tears and teeter there the whole day. There is no reason. You just want to cry. Produce something entirely yours in a new world, starting with your loneliness and fears.
Cry for home, cry for comfort, cry to sad hindi songs, the abundance of kadipatta and dhania, but mostly just for not having been hugged in months. With a start, you realise how much of a difference physical contact makes in making you feel engaged with the world.
***
I don't quite know how to place Vancouver in my heart. Vancouver's always made place for me, the minute I entered it. Overwhelmingly, resoundingly, my experience so far has been a kind one. But it often feels like the city has a definite glass ceiling. It's demographic tends to be rich and old(er), so the city doesn't really have an insane nightlife. And things are always going on, it's not like nothing happens here, but there's a ceiling you can reach up and touch. One day I might get sick of it. For now though, this is home.
***
Away from my previous home, and snowballing through the 27 years of existence, I acknowledge fully now that I always carry home inside me.
A tweet I've favourited:
The bad news: you can never go home again. The good news: you're from here
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