It's that time of the Huge Life Change graph where I get up at nights with nightmares. Unlike my younger self though, I find myself calmly waking up, resigning myself to the fact that immediate sleep is perhaps not possible.

Like a patient parent, I wear the feeling of exhaustion and loneliness out. I chat with friends back in India, read a little, watch some funny things on YouTube. I let the ill-feeling do its thing in the background and eventually pass out.

I know this is only transition. It's been two months almost that I haven't seen a familiar face or place. While I don't exactly miss people, I do acknowledge the ease of their presence in my life so far. So much of our daily lives is securely and comfortably padded by the people in our lives.

A study found out a couple of years ago that the butterfly that metamorphosizes from a caterpillar, still remembers it was one, in another life.

But otherwise, most other times, in my waking life, you must understand, I am one or the other form of happy.